I most often run into people dating while separated when they're separated themselves and involved with someone else who's separated too.
Sadly, most men (and women) who choose to break a vow of monogamy to an intimate partner don’t realize the profound effects their behavior can have on that loved one.
I remind them that in an effort to meet their own less than empathic sexual agenda, they have undermined their personal integrity while simultaneously dismissing their partner’s right to know that their relationship rulebook has been unilaterally revised.
To the more determined (read: unempathic or self-focused), I sometimes suggest that it can be fine to be sexual outside of their primary, committed relationship, to chat up old girlfriends on Facebook, hire prostitutes, see strippers, hook up for sex via dating sites and “friend finder” apps, and look at porn for hours at a time—no lying, no double-life, and no keeping secrets from his primary partner.
(The highly misogynistic nature of a few of the comments suggests that at least a few male readers were I’d leave the men alone.) But now that blog is here. Men are somewhat different than women when it comes to cheating, and a lot of that difference arises from the fact that men tend to define infidelity rather loosely.
Keep in mind this famous statement: “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” More generally, most men would say that utilizing porn as a sexual outlet while in a primary, committed relationship is not cheating. What if the person you’re sexting with doesn’t live anywhere near you and there’s no chance you’ll ever meet up in person? While you’re video chatting, does it matter if your or the other person’s clothes are off?